I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
