I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
