they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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