no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
