found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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