Ambien. No doubt about it.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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