we have officially lost it.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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