She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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