i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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