Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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