I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
