He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize