Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
