You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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