i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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