Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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