Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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