Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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