Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize
