Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
