Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
