I puked a lego.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
