this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
