I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
