mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
