Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
ok first of all what the fuck
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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