ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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