dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
