Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
