never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
