I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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