is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
