This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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