Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
