Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
