A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
