it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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