your room smells of hookers.
And success
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
