Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Everclear isn't food dammit
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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