I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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