We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
