Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I need water and some morals
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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