just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I pour the whiskey from now on
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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