Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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