somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
