Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
When did angry sex become our thing?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
