I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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