I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize