i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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