Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
