Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
