check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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