are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
