I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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