The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
