I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
