I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
