So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
