The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
