You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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