Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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