im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
