none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
