Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
