we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My bed smells like the plague
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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