My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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