Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
