Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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