Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
