Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
