Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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