so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
